Fatwa: # 45523
Category: Jurisprudence and Rulings...
Country:
Date: 23rd September 2020

Title

Saying divorce in the state of uncontrollable anger

Question

As-Salaamu 'alaykum!I'm in so much trouble and mental pressure please help me out! Me and my husband are asking this question together.All the descriptions below are written by my husband.

 

I'm describing all that happened to me.I said divorce to my wife.These things happened about 4/5 years ago.At that time we did not follow a very Islamic policy.Now me and my wife tries to follow all the rules of Islam.I have some anger problem,Everyone is afraid of me because of my anger,My mom and family member says too. Since it happened a long time ago,I don't remember much about it.As far as I remember, One day because of some major problem I had fight with my wife. The quarrel lasted for about an hour or maybe more.I beat my wife and hit her with a stick that broke into three pieces. My anger was at such a stage that I brought a sharp object (which uses to cut curry) from the kitchen to hit her.I was abusing and beating her and shouting very loudly.I had no control over my own anger,I was pulling my own hair.I was beating her like crazy.My wife said that at that time my eyes were red and my body was shaking.She also said, "I was scared when I saw you,You seemed more angry that day than any other day"! And at one point I tell my wife that I divorced you, divorce divorce divorce. And immediately, I realised oh Allah what I said?and I asked Allah for forgiveness.I don't wanted to tell her anything like that but somehow that time I couldn’t control myself! I don't know how this word came out of my mouth.I never wanted to say that.But still my condition was the same as before. I'm just shaking and shouting at her.That's all we both remember.

I'm describing my state of mind for the convenience of your understanding. Because I have some anger problem.I do a lot of vandalism when I get angry.Even i burned some favorite things once. When I do these things in deep anger, I don't immediately remember anything. After that the whole incident slowly came to my mind and I regretted it. In this way I have harmed many things of my own, I regret beacus, I can't handle myself in any way at that time. I do not understand what happens with me! I also tore up money out of anger.I was unemployed then and with great difficulty bought a mobile phone. That was the most precious thing to me at that moment. I broke it after arguing with my wife. Another incident, "my mom is so dear to me, I love her more then myself, one day when I'm in anger I used lots of bad word and abusing her, Which I can never think of under normal circumstances". 

I'm very much ashamed of my own deeds.And I'm suffering a lot in my mind. Is I'm allowed to live with my wife?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.  

As-salāmu alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.  

 

We take note of the contents of your query and make dua Allah keeps us steadfast upon Islam. 

 

You state you are unable to control yourself and have made reference to numerous occasions wherein you were unable to handle yourself due to excessive anger.  

Nevertheless, the behaviour in reference is unacceptable and reprehensible. It is not befitting for anybody to behave in such a manner.  

 

If one is overcome by anger he should recite اعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم for the Prophet (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) has said, 

فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم‏:‏ ‏ إني لأعلم كلمة لو قالها لذهب عنه ما يجد، لو قال‏:‏ أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم ذهب منه ما يجد‏ 

Translation: I know of a sentence if he were to say it, this anger would disappear.  

If he saysاعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم  (I seek refuge from Satan) this anger would disappear from him. (Riyadus-Salihin, 46) 

 

Furthermore, if one is standing, he should sit. If one is sitting, he should lie down. He should drink cold water to suppress the anger. In other words, he should remove himself from the situation which created the anger or do acts which will slow his response and give him time to think instead of acting upon the rage of the anger.  

You should also consider consulting a doctor regarding your instabilities and make dua to Allah that he alleviates this weakness from your life. 

 

As for the validity of your marriage, the issue of extreme anger leading to temporary insanity (complete loss of control) has been discussed by the scholars in the past. Hereunder is the ruling: 

 

Anger is categorised into 3 stages:  

1)    The person in anger is in total control of his state of affairs and knows what he is doing and saying. 

Ruling: Talaq given in such a state is valid. 

2)    Anger leads the person to insanity, such that one is unaware of what he is saying. He is speaking uncontrollably.  

Ruling: Talaq is invalid in such a state. 

3)    One that is between the above mentioned two stages. i.e. one is not in total control of his state of affairs but does not reach the stage of insanity. 

Ruling: There is a difference of opinion on Talaq given in this state, but the most correct opinion is that Talaq will be valid.  

 

We understand from the above ruling that divorce issued in the state of anger will be invalid if one reached the state of insanity. Divorce is a matter of Halal and Haraam. One should be weary and extra conscious when making decisions regarding Halal and Haram. You should honestly question yourself and think carefully whether you did lose your senses and reached the state of insanity when you issued the divorce or not. If you were honestly in your senses and understood that you were divorcing your wife, then three divorces will be issued, and you cannot stay as husband and wife anymore.[i][i] 

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best 

Mohammed  

Student Darul Iftaa  

UK 

Checked and Approved by, 
Mufti Ebrahim Desai. 

 


[ii][i]) الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين، ج ٣، ص ٢٤٤) 

وَلِلْحَافِظِ ابْنِ الْقَيِّمِ الْحَنْبَلِيِّ رِسَالَةٌ فِي طَلَاقِ الْغَضْبَانِ قَالَ فِيهَا: إنَّهُ عَلَى ثَلَاثَةِ أَقْسَامٍ: أَحَدُهَا أَنْ يَحْصُلَ لَهُ مَبَادِئُ الْغَضَبِ بِحَيْثُ لَا يَتَغَيَّرُ عَقْلُهُ وَيَعْلَمُ مَا يَقُولُ وَيَقْصِدُهُ، وَهَذَا لَا إشْكَالَ فِيهِ. وَالثَّانِي أَنْ يَبْلُغَ النِّهَايَةَ فَلَا يَعْلَمُ مَا يَقُولُ وَلَا يُرِيدُهُ، فَهَذَا لَا رَيْبَ أَنَّهُ لَا يَنْفُذُ شَيْءٌ مِنْ أَقْوَالِهِ. 

الثَّالِثُ مَنْ تَوَسَّطَ بَيْنَ الْمَرْتَبَتَيْنِ بِحَيْثُ لَمْ يَصِرْ كَالْمَجْنُونِ فَهَذَا مَحَلُّ النَّظَرِ، وَالْأَدِلَّةُ عَلَى عَدَمِ نُفُوذِ أَقْوَالِهِ. اهـ. مُلَخَّصًا مِنْ شَرْحِ الْغَايَةِ الْحَنْبَلِيَّةِ، لَكِنْ أَشَارَ فِي الْغَايَةِ إلَى مُخَالَفَتِهِ فِي الثَّالِثِ حَيْثُ قَالَ: وَيَقَعُ الطَّلَاقُ مِنْ غَضَبٍ خِلَافًا لِابْنِ الْقَيِّمِ اهـ وَهَذَا الْمُوَافِقُ عِنْدَنَا لِمَا مَرَّ فِي الْمَدْهُوشِ، لَكِنْ يَرِدُ عَلَيْهِ أَنَّا لَمْ نَعْتَبِرْ أَقْوَالَ الْمَعْتُوهِ مَعَ أَنَّهُ لَا يَلْزَمُ فِيهِ أَنْ يَصِلَ إلَى حَالَةٍ لَا يَعْلَمُ فِيهَا مَا يَقُولُ وَلَا يُرِيدُهُ وَقَدْ يُجَابُ بِأَنَّ الْمَعْتُوهَ لَمَّا كَانَ مُسْتَمِرًّا عَلَى حَالَةٍ وَاحِدَةٍ يُمْكِنُ ضَبْطُهَا اُعْتُبِرَتْ فِيهِ وَاكْتُفِيَ فِيهِ بِمُجَرَّدِ نَقْصِ الْعَقْلِ، بِخِلَافِ الْغَضَبِ فَإِنَّهُ عَارِضٌ فِي بَعْضِ الْأَحْوَالِ، لَكِنْ يَرِدُ عَلَيْهِ الدَّهَشُ فَإِنَّهُ كَذَلِكَ. وَاَلَّذِي يَظْهَرُ لِي أَنَّ كُلًّا مِنْ الْمَدْهُوشِ وَالْغَضْبَانِ لَا يَلْزَمُ فِيهِ أَنْ يَكُونَ بِحَيْثُ لَا يَعْلَمُ مَا يَقُولُ بَلْ يُكْتَفَى فِيهِ بِغَلَبَةِ الْهَذَيَانِ وَاخْتِلَاطِ الْجَدِّ بِالْهَزْلِ كَمَا هُوَ الْمُفْتَى بِهِ فِي السَّكْرَانِ عَلَى مَا مَرَّ 

  

(تنقيح الفتاوى الحامدية، ج ١، ص ٢٧٢) 

الدَّهَشُ هُوَ ذَهَابُ الْعَقْلِ مِنْ ذَهْلٍ أَوْ وَلَهٍ وَقَدْ صَرَّحَ فِي التَّنْوِيرِ والتتارخانية وَغَيْرِهِمَا بِعَدَمِ وُقُوعِ طَلَاقِ الْمَدْهُوشِ فَعَلَى هَذَا حَيْثُ حَصَلَ لِلرَّجُلِ دَهَشٌ زَالَ بِهِ عَقْلُهُ وَصَارَ لَا شُعُورَ لَهُ لَا يَقَعُ طَلَاقُهُ وَالْقَوْلُ قَوْلُهُ بِيَمِينِهِ إنْ عُرِفَ مِنْهُ الدَّهَشُ وَإِنْ لَمْ يُعْرَفْ مِنْهُ لَا يُقْبَلُ قَوْلُهُ قَضَاءً إلَّا بِبَيِّنَةٍ كَمَا صَرَّحَ بِذَلِكَ عُلَمَاءُ الْحَنَفِيَّةِ رَحِمَهُمْ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى. 



 

 

 

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