Fatwa: # 45359
Category: Jurisprudence and Rulings...
Country:
Date: 17th August 2020

Title

Divorcing the first wife before getting married again

Question

As Salaam wa alaikum. 

I am looking for 2nd marriage and I have not given divorce yet. Though me and my wife are ready on mutual agreement. 

Now if I marry 2nd time with a divorcee, who has a daughter, can I take custody of her as she will be my step daughter. 

Also I want to know if I want to take the custody of my own daughter who is 10 yrs old 

Please help so that I can take the right decision. 

I have been doing istikhara regularly for my 2nd marriage and I have been getting positive signs so far. 

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Brother,

You refer to wanting to marry again.

You also state that you have not yet given divorce to your wife. We do not know what you mean by you and your wife are ready on mutual agreement.

What agreement are you referring to? Are you referring to mutually maintaining the marriage or are you referring to mutual agreement of divorce?

If you and your wife mutually agree on maintaining the marriage, then the issue of custody of your 10 year old daughter does not arise.

If you divorce your wife then in that instance, you will have custody of your daughter. The mother of your daughter will have visiting rights according to mutual agreement.

If you marry a woman who has a daughter, then this will be your step daughter. However, this does not mean that you will have right of custody of your step daughter.

We advise you to continue making Istikhara. You should exercise precaution in understanding the positive signs you refer to. It is also possible the positive signs are a reflection of your mind-set.

If you are unable to maintain a balance in your emotions and thoughts, then you should consult appropriate people before making a decision.

Do not be misled by your emotions and nafs. What you thought will be a bed of roses may end up to be a bush of thorns. It should not be a case of from the pot to the frying pan!

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Ahmad Patel

Student Darul Iftaa

South Africa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 ( والحاضنة ) أما أو غيرها ( أحق به ) أي بالغلام حتى يستغني عن النساء وقدر بسبع وبه يفتى لأنه الغالب ولو اختلفا في سنه فإن أكل وشرب ولبس واستنجى وحده دفع إليه ولو جبرا وإلا لا
 ( والأم والجدة ) لأم أو لأب ( أحق بها ) بالصغيرة ( حتى تحيض ) أي تبلغ في ظاهر الرواية.
(الدر المختار,سعيد , ج3,ص566)

 

والأم والجدة أحق بالفتاة الصغيرة حتى تبلغ بالحيض أو الإنزال أو السن؛ لأنها بعد الاستغناء تحتاج إلى معرفة آداب النساء، والمرأة على ذلك أقدر، وأما بعد البلوغ فتحتاج إلى التحصين والحفظ، والأب فيه أقوى وأهدى. وبلوغ الصغيرة إما بتسع سنين أو بإحدى عشرة سنة. (الفقه الإسلامي وأدلته ج7 ص742 دار الفكر)

 

حق الرؤية أو الزيارة لأحد الأبوين غير الحاضن مقرر شرعاً باتفاق الفقهاء، لصلةالرحم، ولكنهم ذكروا آراء مختلفة نسبياً، بحسب تقدير المصلحة لكل من الولد والوالد الذي يكون ولده في حضانة غيره.

قال الحنفية  : إذا كان الولد عند الحاضنة، فلأبيه حق رؤيته، بأن تخرج الصغير إلى مكان يمكن الأب أن يراه فيه كل يوم. وإذا كان الولد عند أبيه لسقوط حق الأم في الحضانة، أو لانتهاء مدة الحضانة، فلأمه رؤيته، بأن يخرجه إلى مكان يمكنها أن تبصر ولدها، كل يوم. والحد الأقصى كل أسبوع مرة كحق المرأة في زيارة أبويها، والخالة مثل الأم، ولكن كما جرى القضاء في مصر، تكون زيارتها كل شهر مرة.(الفقه الإسلامي وأدلته ج7 ص 740 دار الفكر)

 

 (Bahisti Zewar, Zam Zam Publishers, Vol 1, Pg 420,421)

 

 

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