Fatwa: # 40530
Category: Marriage & Divorce
Country: Pakistan
Date: 20th October 2018


Should I confess to my fiance regarding my past affairs with men?


A.A...samra has fallen in love with zaid.she proposed zaid that she loves him so much and ask him for marriage. Zaid asked to samra"if she has fallen in love with a man first time? If she had no affair before this? samra replied" I have fallen in love first time and I have no affair before this.Then zaid also have fallen in love with samra and they have sexual relationship for one year.But samra was liar she had 3 sexual affairs with 3 mens in her university life other than zaid.Now zaid considers that samra is a good girl ,she had only one affair in life ever with zaid only.samra wants to make toba of her sins now and she asked zaid also to make toba from zinna(sex)and we should make nikkah.But she is upset that if she should tell zaid about her 3 sexual affairs other than zaid or not??if she should make confession of her affairs to 3 men's? But she is upset that after confession of these affairs ,she will be degraded near zaid forever. Samra is upset that if she had make sin by hiding her past affairs from zaid??


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

There are two issues:

1)     The zina/haraam relationship

2)     Confession to Zaid of past

You seem to be more concerned about the confession of the past affairs and its consequences. Yet the greater concern is that of the haraam relationship. You are worried about being degraded in the sight of Zaid. Think of the day of judgement and answering to Allah about the haraam relationship.

Make sincere taubah and stop immediately. Make a resolve to Allah never to commit the sin again.[1] Haraam actions bring about evil consequences. Consider the following verse of the Quraan:

وَمَآ أَصَـٰبَكُم مِّن مُّصِيبَةٍ فَبِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِيكُمْ وَيَعْفُوا۟ عَن كَثِيرٍ [2]

And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much.

Haraam actions bring about difficulty, misery and obstacles in one’s life. On the contrary, abstaining from haraam is a means of peace, happiness and tranquility in a person’s life.

Discontinue the haraam relationship. If Zaid is interested in you and proposes to marry you, you may consider the proposal and marry him. There is no need to talk of your past as both of you were wrong in the haram relationship.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Aboobakr Siddeeq bin Mufti Amjad Mohammad

Student Darul Iftaa

Azaadville, JHB, South Africa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.


[1]  ( فتح الباري: ج 14 ص 123 – دار الكتب العلمية )

قال الحافظ ابن حجر: والتوبة ترك الذنب على أحد الأوجه.وفي الشرع ترك الذنب لقبحه، والندم على فعله، والعزم على عدم العود، ورد المظلمة إن كانت أو طلب البراءة من صاحبها


[2]  سورة الشورى – أية ٣٠

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