Category: Jurisprudence and Rulings (Fiqh)
Fatwa#: 39300
Asked Country: Australia

Answered Date: Nov 13,2017

Title: Forcing wife into intercourse & placing hands on the chest after doing salaam

Question

 

Assalamu Alaikum
Jazakumullah Khairan for making and running such a site, it very much helps us, the unlearned people who are in confusion in the masaail of Deen.
I had a few questions which, by the will of Allah swt, I hope you will be able to answer.
1. What is the Shar'ee stance of forcing the wife or husband in engaging in intercourse? Especially in regards to the wife. Is emotional distress or simply just saying "no" or not feeling it, a valid excuse from the excuses mentioned in the books of fiqh? Is the husband allowed to force the wife under normal halal conditions (eg not in haid, no physical harm would be done to her), if yes wouldn't that constitute as marital rape? 
2. Is placing the hands on the chest after doing "Salam" an encouraged practice? What is the daleel for the aformentioned action?
Jazakumullah Khairaa

 

Answer

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

One of the objectives of marriage is to fulfill ones carnal desires and safeguard ones chastity. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi wa sallam referred to the objectives of marriage in the following words:

 

فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ [i]

Marriage lowers the gaze and maintains chastity of the private parts

Both spouses should consider the objective of marriage and endeavour to fulfil each other’s carnal desires to the best of one’s ability. Consider the following Ahadith in that regard:

إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ إِلَى فِرَاشِهِ فَلَمْ تَأْتِهِ فَبَاتَ غَضْبَانَ عَلَيْهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلاَئِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِحَ [ii]

The Messenger of Allah () said, "If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and thus he spends the night angry with her, the angels continue cursing her till the morning."

 

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ : قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِذَا بَاتَتِ الْمَرْأَةُ مُهَاجِرَةً فِرَاشَ زَوْجِهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلاَئِكَةُ حَتَّى تَرْجِعَ [iii]

The Prophet () said: “If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband).”

 

إِذَا الرَّجُلُ دَعَا زَوْجَتَهُ لِحَاجَتِهِ فَلْتَأْتِهِ وَإِنْ كَانَتْ عَلَى التَّنُّورِ [iv]

The Messenger of Allah () said: “When a man calls his wife to fulfill his need, then let her come, even if she is at the oven.” 

 

While the above Ahadith address women, men are not excluded from that obligation. He too is duty-bound to fulfill his wife’s carnal desires. In fact, if the husband takes an oath not to consummate with the wife for four months, he is penalised with the burden of a divorce from his side. This is referred to as إيلاء in the Quraan. It will be thus incorrect to deduce from the Ahadith that the injunction of intercourse in Shari’ah is a one sided issue and only directed to women.

Shari’ah does not recognise the concept of marital rape. However, intercourse is an outcome of an internal feeling to satisfy oneself which requires a parallel feeling from both spouses. A one sided intercourse does not provide such parallel and even feelings.

Your question is whether the husband can force his wife to have intercourse. It is clear from our aforesaid explanation that both spouses need to understand their marital obligation and adopt a parallel approach to each other, which requires wisdom, diplomacy and consideration. Thus force would not arise, albeit a forced intercourse in a marital relationship is not rape, rather fulfilling ones right from a rightful avenue rather than a wrong and haraam avenue.

 

The placing of the hands on the chest after making salaam is not part of the Sunnah way of making salaam. Generally, people place their hands on the chest after making salaam as an expression of happiness and satisfaction and not as a Sunnah practice of making salaam.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Aboobakr Siddeeq bin Mufti Amjad Mohammad

Student Darul Iftaa 

Azaadville, JHB, South Africa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.



[i]

صحيح البخاري ـ حسب ترقيم فتح الباري - (3 / 34)

عَنْ عَلْقَمَةَ قَالَ بَيْنَا أَنَا أَمْشِي مَعَ عَبْدِ اللهِ ، رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ ، فَقَالَ كُنَّا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ.

 

[ii]

صحيح مسلم ـ مشكول وموافق للمطبوع - (4 / 157)

 إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ إِلَى فِرَاشِهِ فَلَمْ تَأْتِهِ فَبَاتَ غَضْبَانَ عَلَيْهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلاَئِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِحَ

 

[iii]

صحيح البخاري ـ حسب ترقيم فتح الباري - (7 / 39)

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ : قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِذَا بَاتَتِ الْمَرْأَةُ مُهَاجِرَةً فِرَاشَ زَوْجِهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلاَئِكَةُ حَتَّى تَرْجِعَ.

 

 

[iv]

سنن الترمذى - مكنز - (5 / 2)

« إِذَا الرَّجُلُ دَعَا زَوْجَتَهُ لِحَاجَتِهِ فَلْتَأْتِهِ وَإِنْ كَانَتْ عَلَى التَّنُّورِ »

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER - AskImam.org questions
AskImam.org answers issues pertaining to Shar'ah. Thereafter, these questions and answers are placed for public view on www.askimam.org for educational purposes. However, many of these answers are unique to a particular scenario and cannot be taken as a basis to establish a ruling in another situation or another environment. Askimam.org bears no responsibility with regards to these questions being used out of their intended context.
  • The Shar's ruling herein given is based specifically on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question.
  • AskImam.org bears no responsibility to any party who may or may not act on this answer and is being hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused.
  • This answer may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of AskImam.org.
  • Any or all links provided in our emails, answers and articles are restricted to the specific material being cited. Such referencing should not be taken as an endorsement of other contents of that website.