Category: Society and Culture
Fatwa#: 39032
Asked Country: United Kingdom

Answered Date: Oct 10,2017

Title: Can a family reject a proposal?

Question

Salam, I am seeking advice about marriage and rejection from a proposal. Can a family reject a girl on the basis of incompatibility issues between the two families? However, if the boy and girl are compatiable and are happy with each other, can the family still reject the proposal? In this case, the family are presiding cultural factors over religious factors, as the proposal has gone forward to fixing dates, but the rejection was done over night, without any feasible reason, as they did not like the presentation of family and it was not on the same level as them. The boy and girl were happy together and the girls family has tried their best to contact them to resolve issues through the phone, but no one is responding. What do you do in this case? Do you seek the help of an imam? Thanks.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

If the boy wants to marry a girl but the family does not agree to his choice of the girl based on cultural differences, then the boy and girl may identify an appropriate person who has influence on the boy's family to intervene and offer advice to his family. If that is not possible or not successful, then do not despair as Allah Ta'āla has hidden goodness in it.[1] Turn to Allah Ta'āla and seek His aid in seeking a suitable marriage partner.[2] Remember, being rejected by a family may lead to difficulties and hardship within the marriage which will deprive one of the solace and bliss of marriage.  

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mizanur Rahman

Student Darul Iftaa

West Bromwich, England, UK 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.



[1] صحيح مسلم، مسلم بن الحجاج أبو الحسن القشيري النيسابوري (المتوفى: 261هـ)، دار إحياء التراث العربي، بيروت، لبنان (4/ 2295)

حدثنا هداب بن خالد الأزدي، وشيبان بن فروخ، جميعا عن سليمان بن المغيرة - واللفظ لشيبان - حدثنا سليمان، حدثنا ثابت، عن عبد الرحمن بن أبي ليلى، عن صهيب، قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: عجبا لأمر المؤمن، إن أمره كله خير، وليس ذاك لأحد إلا للمؤمن، إن أصابته سراء شكر، فكان خيرا له، وإن أصابته ضراء، صبر فكان خيرا له

 

صحيح البخاري، محمد بن إسماعيل أبو عبدالله البخاري الجعفي (المتوفى: 256هـ)، دار طوق النجاة ، بيروت, لبنان (7/ 114)

حدثني عبد الله بن محمد، حدثنا عبد الملك بن عمرو، حدثنا زهير بن محمد، عن محمد بن عمرو بن حلحلة، عن عطاء بن يسار، عن أبي سعيد الخدري، وعن أبي هريرة: عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ما يصيب المسلم، من نصب ولا وصب، ولا هم ولا حزن ولا أذى ولا غم، حتى الشوكة يشاكها، إلا كفر الله بها من خطاياه

 

[2]  القرآن الكريم، (2/153)

يَاأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ،

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