Fatwa: # 24371
Category: Marriage
Country: United Kingdom
Date: 9th February 2013


Affair with brother in-law


My friend had an affair with her brother in law.. What should she do?


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Rasullullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam said,

الحَمْوُ المَوْتُ

The brother-in-law is death.”


The death referred to in the Hadith refers to death in many ways. Death to ones spirituality, death to ones shame, death to family relations etc. It is compulsory for one to maintain complete hijab from ones brother-in-law. If by chance one is attracted to a person of the opposite gender but he or she is an outsider, one can easily forget the person and the attributes of that person. In the case of a brother-in-law, he is part of the family. If one gets attracted to him and does not maintain complete hijaab, there is a strong fear that the attraction will grow into lust and beyond that. That is actually death to ones spirituality. A person with such an internal sickness will use family gatherings as an opportunity to fulfill his lust through interacting with each other by talking to each other or even catching glimpse of each other.

Such an attitude is also death to ones shame as one does not respect ones sister’s privacy. When a sister cannot be trusted in such a private and intimate issue, what is left of her?

Islam teaches us shame and mutual respect. In order to achieve that, Rasullullah warned that the brother-in-law and sister-in-law are death to each other. To be alive in shame and maintain ones spirituality, both should adhere to the laws of hijab and keep away from each other.

You friend committed a major sin and violated her sisters right. She should repent to Allah and keep away from her brother-in-law. If she is sincere, Allah will forgive her and restore the roots of Ieman and spirituality in her heart. The most important thing is the mindset. If one knows and believes the act is wrong, then the path to reformation is easy.






And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.


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