Fatwa: # 16626
Category: Marriage (Nikah)
Country: Saudi Arabia
Date: 24th April 2008

Title

My Wife Abandoned me 10 months ago and is not willing to come back

Question

My Wife Abandoned me 10 months ago and is not willing to come back. She doesnt even tell me where is she living and what is she doing most of the times. when i ask her where do you live she just tells me she is living with her father . I dont know her father's house because he recently moved to another city in USA. She is not telling me anything about her where abouts. IN the past i asked them that i want to come to USA for better Job as i was offered a very good job but the company didnt have the Visa to USA. So i asked my wife since she is USA citizen Which she refused bluntly. I have never been to USA before. She always told me that i Shoudl never Go to USA because her parents will think i married her for Citizenship.

Now when i ask her to come back she is delaying and not even telling me why she is doing all this. She only tells me that her parents are annoyed to you and they dont want thier Daughter to push in Hell. I dont understand when a husband wants to get back his wife and his children what rights her parents have on her or even on my Kids. Every Day and every  minute is getting hard on me and its been more then 11 months now since she left. I have never seen my new born baby child. Everday i call her on her cellphone but VERY rare that she will answer my calls. sometimes she  doesnt even anwer my calls for more than 2 weeks. which is ofcourse un bearable and i get hyper when she answers. And then she takes up this issue that i loose my temper and dont respect her.

Please in the light of Quran and Hadees i want the Solution to this problem that i am going through. I Have asked her many times if she wants divorce , sometimes she tells me that i can do as i want to do and sometimes she tells me to wait until things get normal. She cannt Stand against her parents Will.  She is 28 Years Old and i know her very well . She can easily Stand up and things can get normalize. But she is just making up stories.

She told me in the begining that her parents dont want me there in US and aftewards when i get to talk to her father he told me he has no problem and its between you and your wife.. She Asked for money and i told her that she should come back to me and i can give her all that she wants. But if you tell me that i should send you money to USA thats not possible. Her Home is her Husband's Home not not her Father's.

 Her Haq Mahr is 4 million Ruppees and She knows that i cannt Divorce her. Thats why She is taking full advantage . Also i cannt marry without her perimission. I am between Rock and Stone.I need Allah's help in this regard please guide me in the light of Quran and hadees.

Even My father has tried to talk to her father but he told that this matter is between husband and wife. So they dont want to Help. She had the Visa to Saudia she let it be expired. So we have tried all the possibilities by indulging elders into this matter but everything looks invain.

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful  

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

We sympathise with you in that your wife has abandoned you. Certainly, she is not justified in doing what she has done and will be sinful in the eyes of Allah. From the contents of your email we understand that since she is a citizen she regards herself to be superior and is taking advantage of your kind nature. If she does not want to talk to you, then you may call her father and seek his intervention in the matter. You may also tell him of her arrogant attitude and her disrespect to you.

We understand the frustration and emotion if she does not take your call. However, in view of the matter, we suggest that you rise above your emotion and ask her in a calm and dignified way what is her intention. If she intends to continue in this way, then you should seriously reconsider the matter and consult your seniors on the way forward. If she is prepared to make up the marriage then you should pledge your full co operation and encourage her to make the home.

It is important that you turn to Allah and make Tawbah for your past. All matters are in the hand of Allah and surely He can change your condition. Be punctual with your Salaah and recitation of the Quraan e Kareem. This is the prescription for relieving you of your difficulties.

And Allah knows best

 

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa

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